Living isn’t breathing forever, I get it!

“To live is to survive and to survive is not to forget to live till death”

To mankind, unlike the other animal stereotypes, it is unwillingly happening the touch of life with no tongue to taste. It is sometimes we think that we know but we all take is not the essence of it but the bagasse to lead a life. Not the waste will have something to take a gulp of sweetness nor the hunger satisfies. To mankind, to live for real is coming out of the boundaries, of not countries but self-imposed in the stereotypic civilization through centuries.

Once a great man asked me a dime to buy food and another one begged me to buy a decor of organic value. Unfortunately, we named the first kind as a beggar and the second as a businessman. All beggars, so-called by us, who struggle to survive is living a moment while eating the hard-earned food on the streets whereas the businessman is in the pursuit of another dime while chewing it. At the end of the day, both survive, both sleep.

Living, as I knew had computers, gadgets, and other non-living nomenclature that were used to die by the end of the day and we named them batteries. People die so, every evening and wake up fully charged the next morning. I realized that we both have no difference but the difference in the battery technologies that we run on. If electricity helped them recharge, food helped us to. Like there are quick charging technologies, mankind had invented energy drinks that run the dead spirits in the evenings till morning. Whoa! That’s great progress in defying the reality of being an earthly creature.

Still, we call ourselves living beings and call the machines the ‘things’. My exploration of the definition of life has been extended to the mechanisms of living. Unlike the so-called ‘things’, we breathe. Is that what makes us have a life? This shouldn’t be contrary to any ‘thingly’ mechanisms as they don’t. When I was thinking about this and keying it down on my computer, it hissed with the fans inside that work to cool down the processors. So do have we, two, called lungs doing the same with the brain. This good contrary and uniqueness have thrown me into sandpits of confusion again.

I almost quit this pursuit until I watched an old couple singing and dancing on YouTube. They said that they have met in the working departments on Wednesday and married the following Saturday. A supercomputer could have made decisions quicker than that older couple but it would never have connected the same way they did.

If life is what you realize that your better half is that person in such a short time if people call that love and finding ‘the one’ if the life we call is sweet enough to have married for 44 years and till death, if life is what gave them hope hand in hand to perform an outstanding performance, then life is not that need a breath forever, then life is not that would need waiting for love instead find one, then life is not that mechanism of living that pumps oxygen to the brain and keeps it working, then life is not that food that fills in energy within us, then life is not that we wake up planning the day every morning, then life is not sipping the cane juice drop by drop, then life is not that fill the stomach, then life is not that earning money that we can ‘only’ use.

To the realization of my senses, life is that which satisfies the hunger but no need to fill the tummy, like a mother satisfies her hunger seeing her kids eating. Life is not that begging a sale but a dime to buy food as you need it as your last chance awaits. Life is not the quick way of filling energy into the body but to savor the way like we enjoy licking the ice cream than swallow it at once. Life is not that we need to breathe forever but to live that moment instead of surviving, like those who still live dead, living. I get it now. I get it clear!

To all those in love and do

To all those who seek satisfaction in giving,

To all those who eat full by sharing half,

To all those who walk behind lending afoot,

To all those who feed stray dogs in what earn,

To all those who save for their offsprings,

To all those who take half salaries to spend time,

To all those who stand up for their little brothers,

To all those who treat angels, their little sisters,

To all those who believe in old woman on the moon,

To all those who sleep in father’s cuddles,

To all those who help mothers in the kitchen,

To all those who take little risks,

To all those who take huge responsibilities,

To all those who toast coffee with enemies,

To all those who become neighbors on the border,

To all those who realize borders are nothing,

To all those who know borders are for land,

To all those who know how to lead,

To all those who give freedom and choice,

To all those who take them,

To all those who enjoy seeing a bid fly,

To all those who walk hand in hand,

To all those who draw a heart in love shape,

To all those who write love in new words,

To all those who never say ‘I love you’, but show it,

To all those who care more than themselves,

To all those who take the bullet for the loved,

To all those who make everyday a Valentine’s,

To all those who think they can live with just love,

To all those who know that it’s true,

To all those in love and do,

I wish you a very Happy Valentine’s Day,

To remind that we are living in a world,

To give love and to take.

The god exclusive – granny’s logic

I am an atheist for my grandma, but I am a devotee of no god for myself. The concept of faith in God for me always dangled at the edge of fear of existing of evil. Those too at night times at most.

When I was growing up, the people going to temples and offering something to gain something didn’t seem correct to my logic. Their deal-making prayers that I have been watching were never heartfelt. But yet, they believe themselves the greatest devotees of him/her.

I was even pretty confused with the people dividing God into two species male and female. Particularly in a religion like Hinduism, the number of gods count equals the end of numbers. It is good to worship those with great and divine qualities and Indians have this custom for ages. That is why many kings are still worshipped as gods in the country and the count has no ending number.

I have a grandmother from my mother’s side, and she is the oldest in our family. She knew all the Indian customs and traditions of doing the events and worships. She is the first guide of our families and neighbors in every family activity. I once happen to visit her. This is how our conversation went on,

“How are you, granny? how is your health?”

“I’m fine, my prince charm. Are you not eating well these days?”

Mom’s and their mothers are always that caring to say it even to a 200-pound grandson.

“Yes, I am. I am good. Don’t worry. I am even going to the gym these days.”
“The Gym!!? What is it? Another tuition?”
“No! granny, It’s like going walking in the morning.”
“Oh!!”
Meanwhile, a neighbor housewife came to take advice for her chickenpox affected little daughter. My granny started her lessons of wisdom to her. She was saying,
“Make a bed of neem leaves. Make small marbles of neem leaves paste and give it all three times a day. Only use neem plants to scratch the spots,” and when she was about to leave noted all the instructions in her brain, my granny left her last tip of wisdom.
“..and..” granny continued, “Never clean the room till the goddess goes away.” touching her cheeks with her palms. The neighbor housewife followed her, touched her cheeks, and left.
“Granny!! Goddess, you mean?” I spoke after listening to their conversation all along, interestingly.
“Yes!! Smallpox is a goddess. It is good to have her on, once at least in a lifetime.”
“But, we should keep the surroundings clean Nah!”, I said.
“No! We should not! If we keep the surroundings clean, the goddess will like the place and stay forever.”
What logic! That stroke my senses like lightning from the silent sky.
“So, whose goddess is she?”
“Who else’s? Ours only!” Hindu’s she meant.
“So, you mean our goddess will not affect the Muslims and Christians, right?”
Granny sensed my sarcasm. With a smiley face, “why won’t they get? They will get affected too.” She said, smiling at my atheism.
“But, she is our only God, right? The exclusive one? Christians have Jesus, and Muslims have Allah. Oh!! That means Christians will have Mother Mary, isn’t it?”

She understood that I was teasing her. She had no answer of course. She just waved her hand down and turned her face aside.

Exam missed, but girl impressed

It was the festival day when all our relatives came home and we were very happy chit-chatting about the funny incidents we went through as a family until the chit chat moved on to my job issue. I told my uncle about me preparing for the IT bank special officers’ common written exam. He asked me all the details of where and how about my preparation and exam center. Meanwhile, my elder cousin brother voluntarily offered me that he would accompany me on that exam day. He said that he too had some work there to be done on that day.

It was exam day and we were started late from Kavali. We should have started much earlier than we did. It was almost 12:30 PM when we reached Tirupati and there is only half an hour to reach my exam center. To our surprise, it started raining at that time. Brother is trying his best to stop any means of transport that goes to my exam center. An autowala stopped and we got in. He told us that he would take us half the journey as he had to go another direction from there. That’s the best option we got on that rainy day and we thought that we could catch another vehicle from there and move on.

Autowala dropped us somewhere where he promised. Thank god another auto-rickshaw came which goes in the same direction where we wanted to. Brother stopped the vehicle, asked me not to worry as there is enough time to reach the center by 2 o’clock. I argued with him that the exam would start at 1:00 PM. This argument made me check my admit card once again which proved us both wrong. The exam timings were specified as 10:00 AM to 01:00 PM. I was shocked and my brother was disappointed to know the fact. Our hurry about reaching Tirupati earlier would have blindfolded our vision while checking the timings at home. I wanted to reach the center at any cost of time anyhow. The autowala drove a few feet, brother stopped me, asked me to get down, apologized for the autowala. Autowala is a good man. He demanded the justified fair for the very little distance I’ve ever hired a vehicle for. I paid him and we started walking towards the bus stand with desperation.

It seems like my brother doesn’t want me to bother about the missed exam, so he started acting naïve to see me happy. We came to a crossroad where the whole distress turned into excitement. A girl got down from the auto-rickshaw. Our both attention went on her. She was beautiful in her salwar, hanging a bag on her left shoulder opened her umbrella, and started walking attractive. I have fallen for her and my brother has already started following her back. I followed my brother from two feet back. I know my brother is very good at girls. I fear doing things like following thereby frightening girls, I don’t feel good doing so. After a short walk, she stopped at a door, took out keys from her bag, and was trying hard to open the door. I stopped at a flag pole nearby, sat there tying my shoelaces, and was watching the scene with one eye as my brother proceeded very near hitting on her. She looked up, I stopped tying and paid attention to them. Then she said ‘brother! brother! could you please help me open the door?’ Brother is the only word I could hear clearly. My brother was shocked but went on with a small conversation with her. The scene ended more sobbingly than the titanic. I couldn’t stop laughing like anything at that time and my brother was embarrassed.
We looked back our way home with two great failures noticeably because of our foolishness. The rain started pouring when we took a few steps back to the bus stand. A Scorpio guy gave us a lift, he drove across the street and the rain has become violent enough to stop the Scorpio. That guy stopped the vehicle under a bridge and waited for the rain to stop.

The rain stopped after an hour. Brother got down, went to a shop nearby to buy something to eat. The Scorpio guy went to have a smoke. I stayed in the vehicle with the door open thinking about the missed exam. Then I saw her again with the umbrella under the bridge wandering like she was searching for someone. She soliloquy walked here and there near our vehicle a couple of times. Then she stopped by and asked me where my brother was. I told her that he went to bring some snacks. She started talking with me, “Can’t a girl and a guy be brother and sisters? Why would you boys always disguise ‘it’ with friendship?”

I don’t know what they talked about exactly. I didn’t understand their conversation clearly and why is she talking to me if I was not the person she talked to earlier?

I thought she has fallen for my brother and came back looking for him. But she said to me “Let’s be friends like as a brother and sister.”
“Friends? like as a brother and sister? If you are afraid of making new friends, don’t disguise it with siblinghood.” I set her facts right.

“So what do you think? Any girl you wish for would come to romance with you or what?”

“I’m not asking for romance. If you like a person and want to make some friends, your trustiness should not depend on calling them, brother or sister.”

She pulled back her hair over her forehead with her fingers and said “Why can’t you?”

I got down from the vehicle, closed the door, and said, “Because friendship is trusted and unrestricted. I have many friends and half of them are girls. We never feel embarrassed while we talk. We discuss anything without hesitation. They help us hitting on girls and we tease them before their crushes. This strengthens our bond! Some find brothers and sisters in us, some find soulmates, and some stay being thick friends regardless of gender. We never promised one another to be like this or like that at first. It happens automatically! If you wanted to be a friend, be a friend. The time would decide where it takes.”

Brother returned by the time I finished my version. She smiled and stood silent. The Scorpio guy also came back. He started to check out something and asked me to check out my files and documents as another guy who was there with him before we get into the vehicle was found to be a thief. The girl walked off when I was checking out my documents without saying goodbye after such a deep conversation. I noticed it and watched her go. She looked back blushed, walking a distance from us.

I took a step forward to call her. My brother stopped me with his hand and gave me a piece of paper with a phone number as he showed her going.